Jeremy Heckt's Blog

Learning To Focus And Loving It

One thing that I have recently discovered is that I am allowing myself to enjoy things that I am interested in, again. I used to spend so much time thinking about how I should be working on other stuff, or studying a different topic. Now I realize that I can do the things I like and the things that I need to do, both, without one getting in the way of the other.

I think a good portion of the reason why I can feel this way now is through accepting myself, or rather at least not thinking negative about myself. I used to call myself a loser all the time thinking I was just unable to accomplish normal tasks - turns out I had ADHD and things have been getting better ever since I realized that fact.

I really want to regain my focus on studying chemistry, but I think I am going to get there via baby steps. If I force myself to do just that I feel as if I will burn out a lot quicker than I want to - there is a mental/emotional barrier to studying chemistry that my pre-treatment self build up that I need to spend time taking down. So currently I am studying machine learning and statistics, which I will then use to start studying food which will allow me to waltz back into chemistry. It is a very roundabout way of getting there, but I feel it will get me there.

One of my goals for this year is to be braver. I am excited to put myself out there. I have already put my resume on the internet and now link to it in my email signatures. I also have started a professional blog and will be updating that along with my Medium blog - they will host the same thing, but using Medium to link to my self hosted blog as well will allow crawlers to index my page and all of that jazz.

2021 here I come!